I believe there is no more profound rite of passage in contemporary American society than going to college. For students it marks the beginning of the world of untold possibilities that lay before them in adulthood. For parents it is the culmination of almost two decades of sacrifice, love, hard work, hopes, and dreams.

I believe that your higher education is too important to allow it to be tainted by popular notions of what makes a good college, pressure to engage in certain extracurricular activities because they will look good in a college application, or to allow letters of admission from a college define your value.

I reject the idea that applying to college is a game to be won or a system that can be conquered by strategy, packaging, or finding the right hook.

I reject the idea that the college search, application, and selection process can be reduced to an easy ten-step formula or can be made fun and stress-free by the right personality.

I believe that a meaningful and fulfilling college search, application, and selection experience will only come from striving for balance:

• Balance between investigating well-known, selective colleges, and choosing a college without regard for prestige or popularity, but because it is the just the right fit for you as an individual.

• Balance between pushing yourself to earn the highest grades in the most challenging courses and learning for the sake of knowledge without chasing grades.

• Balance between building an impressive resume of extracurricular leadership, service and accomplishment, and following your own passions wherever they lead.

• Balance between living up to your family’s expectations and making your own first decisions as a young adult.

My advice is to pay more attention to the big picture.